RatticDB secures NSA funding

FOR THOSE WHO DID NOT NOTICE THE DATE: THIS POST IS AN APRIL FOOLS JOKE

Today it thrills me to announce that RatticDB has secured $20 million in funding from the NSA. This marks the beginning of a strategic alliance between the developers of RatticDB and the NSA.

The NSA is a widely known and recognized authority in the applications of cryptography. Starting as a code breaking unit in World War 1 they have rapidly expanded to become a major force in the world’s cryptography. The NSA has even advised encryption experts at RSA. The NSA has historically taken a great interest in the sharing of passwords, and has participated in several other password sharing schemes.

This funding will allow us to implement many new features for RatticDB. With the resources we have been provided we can now implement completely secure encryption for your passwords. We will likely implement this by transferring them to the nearest NSA secured datacenter. NSA datacenters, employees and the contractors they employ have always been known for their extreme security practices and their integrity under pressure. We will also be implementing a password generator based on the Dual_EC_DRBG random number generator.

Together with the NSA we know that RatticDB can become something amazing. Whether you choose to voluntarily use RatticDB or your government mandates its usage we know that together we will do great things. We are committed to keeping your passwords safe.

CLEARANCE: Cleared for Release, DATE: April 1st 2014